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Get Real

I’m just gonna throw it out there- I haven’t actually used any of these dating sites for their real purpose in a very long time.  At this point I just keep them around for entertainment and to keep this blog going.  I saw the beginning of my message and realized that there are genuine guys out there using these sites to try and find their lobster in life.  I felt bad for about a millisecond because I use these guys to give everyone a few good laughs, but then I finished reading his message and went back to my original theory that every guy looking to date via internet, has douchey qualities.

Hi, I came across your profile and I liked it as your profile seems very genuine and real . I am not here for flings or to play games. Am an honest person who speaks my mind and loves to have fun with friends and family.I have my Masters and working for a multi billion $ company as an engineer.

There are some girls out there that care about money and are very materialistic.  If you’ve seen me in class in my sweat pants and G.I. Joe shirt, you’ll realize I’m not that type of girl.  Unless you’re trying to get laid, there is never any need to mention how much money you make.  You’ll either have a girl think you’re making shit up and come off as completely pathetic by using money to get girls, or you’ll have a girl that  most likely resembles the stepmom in Tommy Boy.  You don’t want either of those.  So for you, Mr. Engineer Billionaire, you get a big fat FAIL.

If you didn’t see this video coming, I’m pretty sure you haven’t learned anything from reading this blog.(Sorry this video won’t embed, but guess what- it’s well worth it to just click on that damn link and go listen!)


Let’s have a toast for the douchebags…

If this is your first time coming to this page and this happens to be the first, or one of the first posts you  read, I apologize in advance.  Let me give you the low down.  Most of these posts are outrageously, piss your pants, knee slappin’, hilarious messages that I have received from guys on online dating sites ( There’s actually no statistics on the detailed humor of these posts, I think I just made all of that up).  However there is the occasional time I have to let off a little steam directed towards men. (If you want to see funny messages from creeps or weirdos, please check out the “Messages from Guys” category to the right.)

Up until recently (last night around 8pm) I have thought there were still nice guys out there.  I mean every guy has the ability to be nice and not douchey, they just seem to choose the douchey route.  I know this can go the same for girls being crazy or bitches, I’m not denying that at all.  But seeing as I’m a woman and date men, I can only complain about men right now.

I recently dated a guy who wanted to move super quickly, and told me he loved me after about two weeks.  He opened doors for me, showed up with flowers,  my family liked him.. the whole kit n caboodle.  Is that the right saying? Anyways.  I have taken on so much in my life right now that I can just not be in a relationship.  Especially with him.  Well, maybe it was just him and not my crazy life that he just made crazier.   He may have been nice, but creepily obsessive and lovestruck crossed all that out.  I’m still overly irritated just thinking about shit I had to go through with him.  It took a couple times to get it across to him we were broken up and finally I was out of what seemed to be shaping up to be a Fatal Attraction sequel.   He wanted to get back together about a month ago, and has still texted me and what-not.  I finally deleted him from Facebook© and of course I got bitched at about that.  Now come to find out that he has been dating someone!  Can someone explain to me why he would feel the need to want to get back together, be pissed off about being deleted from my social online life, and still text me?  There is really only one answer to this: DOUCHEBAG!

Am I broken up over his new relationship?  NOT.  AT.  ALL.  I am actually quite confused that there are girls out there who like the obsessive clingy types.  And I totally feel for her.  No seriously though, I wish him all the best.  Wait, no.  I would have wished him all the luck if he wasn’t a dbag.

He’s what I like to call a fake douchebag (this is a term i grabbed from my friend, so you won’t find it on urbandictionary.com, yet).  He changes for every girl he dates, loves everyone, and does everything he can to convince girls that he is the complete opposite of a douchebag.

It just goes to show that every guy is a douchebag, or has douchebag tendancies that they cannot resist to act on.

End rant.

Now I’ll go check and see what kind of wonderfully interesting or funny messages I can post.