[Do Not] Tickle Me Elmo

Honesty is the best policy, right?  Well sure if you actually give a rats ass about who you’re talking to.  In this case I lied…a lot.  First off, the profile that this jackass contacted me through was a profile I set up just to see how many weirdos would message me.  I didn’t make it anything out of the ordinary, it has my actual picture up, but I think some of my hobbies are different as well as my profession.   This profile is what I like to call “To-catch-a-Weirdo.”  Anyways, that really has nothing to do with anything.  This guy instant messaged me on Plenty-of-Creeps and it quickly turned into a situation.  Not like Jersey Shore situation, because I wouldn’t have cared if he sent me a picture of his amazeballs abs.  I do have a problem with “men” (I use that term loosely) putting down people because of what they’re doing with their life.  I do not have a problem with making fun of grown “men” (again used loosely) for wanting to tickle.

Jerkface:  hi
me:  hi
Jerkface:  how are you
me:  aaaalright, how are you
Jerkface:  doing all right
Jerkface:  so u cant find a guy that makes u giggle?
me:  oh i have tons. but they’re all friends. =)
Jerkface:  why dont u date them
me:  cuz they’re friends.
Jerkface:  they prob dont think that
Jerkface:  so no guys you are atracted to?]
me:  yea i guess
me:  i just dont have time for anything right now- thats the biggest problem
Jerkface:  too bad, i love making girls giggle
me:  it doesnt take much with me!
me:  =)
Jerkface:  oh really?
me:  i laugh during meditation during yoga haha
Jerkface:  ticklish?
me:  im 26… i dont really get tickled…
Jerkface:  why does age matter
me:  me and my friends usually dont have tickle wars…
Jerkface:  what about boyfriends?
me:  um we usually didnt just hang out and tickle eachother…
me:  do you normally tickle girls you’re dating?
Jerkface:  yes
me:  oh.
me:  favorite past time of yours then?
Jerkface:  u hate that?
me:  hate is a strong word.  just seems… odd.
Jerkface:  why is it odd
me:  so you just like hang out with girls and tickle them?
Jerkface:  tickling is more like flirting
me:  right when you’re like 14…
Jerkface:  so u hate it?
me:  i never said that.
Jerkface:  but u dont like it
me:  i didnt say that either? i just said its odd.
Jerkface:  what makes it odd
me:  that you’re 30, and using tickling as your flirting technique..
Jerkface:  and what makes it odd?
met:  alright well i can see this conversation is going nowhere quick.
me:  carry on with your tickling.
Jerkface:  not a bit
Jerkface:  btw 26 is pretty old for a painter
me:  who said im a painter?
Jerkface:  i used to do that when i was 5
me:  im a teacher turd.
Jerkface:  your profile does
me:  oh well i didnt even make it.
Jerkface:  how are you a teacher without a degree
me:  i have a degree?
Jerkface:  read what i wrote
me:  um great. but i have a degree.
Jerkface:  from where
me:  why are you getting all bitter and rude just because i dont want to talk about tickling?
me:  columbia
Jerkface:  columbia has teaching degrees?
me:  they have a bachelor in early childhood education, in which i minored in fine arts.
me:  which would make me… can you guess???
me:  an art teacher!!!
Jerkface:  shouldnt u be teaching now?
me:  should be yes.
Jerkface:  uh huh
me:  i just said early childhood education
me:  which would mean….
me:  half day school.
Jerkface:  ohhhh
Jerkface:  so your not a real teacher
me:  um no i am…
Jerkface:  you teach at a kindercare
meirtyybitt:  i have a morning class and afternoon class.
Jerkface:  uh huh
me:  no i teach at a private school in the city.
Jerkface:  so not a real teacher
me:  you are like the rudest man ive met on here. just becuase i dont want to be tickled, you’re giving me the 3rd degree?
Jerkface:  i could care less about tickling
Jerkface:  i just find it funny how you think youre so mature
me:  you can come ot my class.. my students like to be tickled.
met:  i never said anything about being mature
Jerkface:  reread
Jerkface:  everything
Jerkface:  your memory sucks
*** Jerkface IC window is closed

For the record- I am not a teacher, I do not have my degree finished (but in the works), and I am extremely ticklish!  I felt no need to carry on a conversation with a guy who wanted to talk about tickling, however, so I lied just to make it fun and worthy enough to post for all to see!  He obviously takes his tickling serious though.  This is almost borderline fetish talk if you ask me! FAIL.

I don’t hate tickling and I don’t hate him… My friends in the T’s can sum up the rest of this thought.

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About bellaramone

Just an ordinary girl, in a not so ordinary online dating world. If you have any horror stories or wonderful messages from dating sites please send them to onlinedatingfail@yahoo.com and I will post them. Don't worry, completely anonymously unless you're wanting to warn us ladies about someone specific. View all posts by bellaramone

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